READER Í Paperweight ´ Meg Haston

Herapists watch Stevie at mealtime accompany her to the bathroom and challenge her to eat the foods she’s worked so hard to avoid Her dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment But what no one knows is that Stevie do 35 Stars “I imagine myself dead Cold Perfect and unbreathing with a still stone heart The weight of my useless body rotting in the ground My soul lighter than paper and drifting far from its fleshy prison” “Paperweight” is a young adultrealistic novel that deals with heavy issues like eating disorders suicide depression and so much Needless to say this book is not for everyone It’s a heartbreaking moving read obviously realistic maybe a little too realistic at times intense and also eye opening First and foremost I want to say the title is perfect for this book since is a book about eating disorders such as anorexia and bulimia “Paperweight” tells the story of Stephanie ‘Stevie’ a 17 years old girl who suffers from anorexia nervosa She feels lonely and depressed not only because her mother left her and her brother but also because her brother died in an accident almost a year ago an accident Stevie believes she caused Stevie’s father is desperate trying to save her so he admits her to a treatment center He wants Stevie to live not only exist but Stevie has her own plans – she will end her life in 27 days when it will be her brother’s death anniversary “Death won’t desert me It’s waiting for me beckoning And I’m ready taking sure steps toward my final act” I liked this one but for some reason I didn’t get fully invested into this story I like books about mental health conditions and I love the realistic aspect that usually comes with them Here the author did a fantastic job portraying a world where food means everything and nothing at the same time She did a great job researching about these eating disorders and not onlyso kudos to her for being brave enough writing this novelStevie’s character was complex and realistically portrayed from the beginning You will sympathize with her from the start Her voice was real clean and honest but I have to say this – she wasn’t an easy character to like I know that she wasn’t really her fault for being this way because after all she simply tried to fight her old urges but really she frustrated me a couple of times In spite of that I think her actions and reactions were “normal” sobelievable However I didn’t connect with her – emotionally liked I was supposed to connect I guess I really tried but unfortunately I couldn’t Her interactions with other characters were also realistically done I liked the cast of supporting characters They were dynamic entertaining and had depth I think my favorite supporting character was Stevie’s therapist Anna She was not your usual therapist I guess because she clearly cared very much for Stevie The fact that once upon a time she was an alcoholic addict helped Stevie in some way because she made her realize anyone can heal and recovery can be real if you really fight I also ‘enjoyed’ their sessions They were really great done inspiring and also heartbreaking at times The flashes from the past had an important role here not only in Stevie’s character development which btw was simply great but in portraying these eatingemotional disorders that can kill so many people All in all “Paperweight” was a great read not only about eating disorders or about what anorexia nervosa means but also about recovery learning to move on and about finding yourself

BOOK Paperweight

PaperweightEsn't plan to stay that long There are only twenty seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh’s death the death she caused And if Stevie gets her way there are only twenty seven days until she too will end her lif “The anorectic operates under the astounding illusion that she can escape the flesh and by association the realm of emotions” Marya Hornbacher an American authorMeg Haston an American YA author pens a very personal story inspired from her own life Paperweight that narrates the story of a young teenager suffering from an eating disorder recovering from the problem to have a normal life in a treatment center which is closer to hell This is her story and the story that tells us how she is fighting everyday against her own illness as well as her past ghosts all aloneSynopsis Seventeen year old Stevie is trapped In her life In her body And now in an eating disorder treatment center on the dusty outskirts of the New Mexico desertLife in the center is regimented and intrusive a nightmare come true Nurses and therapists watch Stevie at mealtime accompany her to the bathroom and challenge her to eat the foods she’s worked so hard to avoidHer dad has signed her up for sixty days of treatment But what no one knows is that Stevie doesn't plan to stay that long There are only twenty seven days until the anniversary of her brother Josh’s death—the death she caused And if Stevie gets her way there are only twenty seven days until she too will end her lifeIn this emotionally haunting and beautifully written young adult debut Meg Haston delves into the devastating impact of trauma and loss while posing the uestion Why are some consumed by their illness while others embark on a path toward recovery Stevie is devastated for life with so many losses firstly her mother left her and her brother Josh then her brother Josh dies in an accident for which Stevie blames herself Then there is her best friend Eden for whom she has lots of feelings for but Eden manipulated Josh for her benefit thus creating a wall between herself and Stevie Among all these problems Stevie became depressed while coping with the loss of her own brother which forces her to make a plan to kill herself on the day of her brother's anniversary Stevie is also facing an eating disorder where her own body started making her feel with disgust For recovery her father admits her to a treatment center and her plan to kill herself gets messed up because the treatment center is forcing her to eat and keeps an eye on her activities from eating to shitting like a hawk Will she be successful in her plans Will she reach her target weight while blindly cheating the day care and food plans crafted out especially for her recoveryWhat Stevie wants is control the type of control you want it when things go out of control you want that control even if you push all the limits and kill yourself Stevie's life is a mess and totally beyond her control and the rehab thing is not doing any good to her plans over control Guilt anger pain made the seventeen year old's mind go into a mission to take control of her body The story sways between Stevie's past and her present days in the rehab and since the story is told from Stevie's POV it lets the readers see through the deepest and darkest core of her mind Although the past is the narration of already happened events recollected from Stevie's memories which had a bit of loose ends and yeah the author might have tried to relate her reason to Stevie's pain but somehow loose ends were left everywhere on it's wake especially what really happens between Stevie and her best friend Eden then the reason behind why Stevie's mom abandoned her family on the first placeSome reviewers have claimed to say that Stevie has gone through transformation but honestly I did not feel that at all Stevie opens up angry and ends up sort of pissed off with her life The writing is good and strong and the prose is layered with deep emotions some can be bit dark and graphic and can somehow instigate negative feelings like suicidal or whatever among young teenagers while reading the book Yes while reading I realized the voice of Stevie is told from someone who knows what happens when you're facing an eating disorder I mean very original and easy to connect with the pain No I was lucky enough that I never went through such a tragic phase but I could still somehow feel Stevie's mental trauma that is haunting her clawing at her bare skinThe author really knows how to draw in the readers' sympathy for her main character The main character flawed yet portrayed with lots of realism and sensitivity as well as compassion Stevie's demeanor is like any other 17 year old going through troubles in family as well as love life Stevie is brave yet very weak from the inside her fight against herself pulls me into the story like a moth looking for a flicker of light in the darknessThe supporting cast yet once again portrayed brilliantly but leave the story without a clue or without any closure Like for example Stevie's friend from rehab Ashely whom the author have sketched with lots of love and reality and pain yet her existence in the story fell short without the depth in her characterization Stevie's Shrink whom she actually called The Shrink Anna is featured beautifully since she is the only adult monitoring Stevie while in the rehab Yeah no doubt their bond started off too weak which then transforms into something not that strong but understandable Stevie and Ann both were fighting their own battles and honestly Anna's approach towards Stevie's well being is really good not with a hard push but with a gentle pushFamily issues relationships lesbian undying bonds of friendships growing trust are blend in so perfectly into the story that makes it one hell of an emotional as well as enlightening roller coaster ride and is perfect read for the summers I urge every parent and teenagers to read it once to realize what happens when life actually throws lemons at you and with a mind so young and so inexperienced how a teenager deals with those lemonsVerdict This book will thoroughly appeal to the YA readers Courtesy Thanks a lot to the publishers from Hot Key Books for giving me an opportunity to read and review this book