Free How to Write about Africa reader ☆ doc 9789966700827

reader How to Write about Africa

Free How to Write about Africa reader ☆ doc 9789966700827 Õ [EPUB] ✷ How to Write about Africa By Binyavanga Wainaina – Dogsalonbristol.co.uk This trio of sharp witted essays takes irony to a new level In 'How to Write About Africa' Wainaina dissects the cliché of Africa and the preconceptions dear to westThis trio of sharp Write about PDF #8608 witted essays takes irony to a new level In 'How to Write About Africa' Wainaina dissects the cliché of Africa and the preconceptions dear to western writers and readers with ruthless precision In the same fashion ‘My Ya'll need to read this essay It's the funniest shit I read in a while and so true it hurts It was recommended by the wonderful Yamini I mean of course and I thought I would include the whole thing here as it is rather short; it literally takes 5 minutes to read so that you can form your own opinion Always use the word ‘Africa’ or ‘Darkness’ or ‘Safari’ in your title Subtitles may include the words ‘Zanzibar’ ‘Masai’ ‘Zulu’ ‘Zambezi’ ‘Congo’ ‘Nile’ ‘Big’ ‘Sky’ ‘Shadow’ ‘Drum’ ‘Sun’ or ‘Bygone’ Also useful are words such as ‘Guerrillas’ ‘Timeless’ ‘Primordial’ and ‘Tribal’ Note that ‘People’ means Africans who are not black while ‘The People’ means black AfricansNever have a picture of a well adjusted African on the cover of your book or in it unless that African has won the Nobel Prize An AK 47 prominent ribs naked breasts use these If you must include an African make sure you get one in Masai or Zulu or Dogon dressIn your text treat Africa as if it were one country It is hot and dusty with rolling grasslands and huge herds of animals and tall thin people who are starving Or it is hot and steamy with very short people who eat primates Don’t get bogged down with precise descriptions Africa is big fifty four countries 900 million people who are too busy starving and dying and warring and emigrating to read your book The continent is full of deserts jungles highlands savannahs and many other things but your reader doesn’t care about all that so keep your descriptions romantic and evocative and unparticularMake sure you show how Africans have music and rhythm deep in their souls and eat things no other humans eat Do not mention rice and beef and wheat; monkey brain is an African’s cuisine of choice along with goat snake worms and grubs and all manner of game meat Make sure you show that you are able to eat such food without flinching and describe how you learn to enjoy it—because you careTaboo subjects ordinary domestic scenes love between Africans unless a death is involved references to African writers or intellectuals mention of school going children who are not suffering from yaws or Ebola fever or female genital mutilationThroughout the book adopt a sotto voice in conspiracy with the reader and a sad I expected so much tone Establish early on that your liberalism is impeccable and mention near the beginning how much you love Africa how you fell in love with the place and can’t live without her Africa is the only continent you can love—take advantage of this If you are a man thrust yourself into her warm virgin forests If you are a woman treat Africa as a man who wears a bush jacket and disappears off into the sunset Africa is to be pitied worshipped or dominated Whichever angle you take be sure to leave the strong impression that without your intervention and your important book Africa is doomedYour African characters may include naked warriors loyal servants diviners and seers ancient wise men living in hermitic splendour Or corrupt politicians inept polygamous travel guides and prostitutes you have slept with The Loyal Servant always behaves like a seven year old and needs a firm hand; he is scared of snakes good with children and always involving you in his complex domestic dramas The Ancient Wise Man always comes from a noble tribe not the money grubbing tribes like the Gikuyu the Igbo or the Shona He has rheumy eyes and is close to the Earth The Modern African is a fat man who steals and works in the visa office refusing to give work permits to ualified Westerners who really care about Africa He is an enemy of development always using his government job to make it difficult for pragmatic and good hearted expats to set up NGOs or Legal Conservation Areas Or he is an Oxford educated intellectual turned serial killing politician in a Savile Row suit He is a cannibal who likes Cristal champagne and his mother is a rich witch doctor who really runs the countryAmong your characters you must always include The Starving African who wanders the refugee camp nearly naked and waits for the benevolence of the West Her children have flies on their eyelids and pot bellies and her breasts are flat and empty She must look utterly helpless She can have no past no history; such diversions ruin the dramatic moment Moans are good She must never say anything about herself in the dialogue except to speak of her unspeakable suffering Also be sure to include a warm and motherly woman who has a rolling laugh and who is concerned for your well being Just call her Mama Her children are all delinuent These characters should buzz around your main hero making him look good Your hero can teach them bathe them feed them; he carries lots of babies and has seen Death Your hero is you if reportage or a beautiful tragic international celebrityaristocrat who now cares for animals if fictionBad Western characters may include children of Tory cabinet ministers Afrikaners employees of the World Bank When talking about exploitation by foreigners mention the Chinese and Indian traders Blame the West for Africa’s situation But do not be too specificBroad brushstrokes throughout are good Avoid having the African characters laugh or struggle to educate their kids or just make do in mundane circumstances Have them illuminate something about Europe or America in Africa African characters should be colourful exotic larger than life—but empty inside with no dialogue no conflicts or resolutions in their stories no depth or uirks to confuse the causeDescribe in detail naked breasts young old conservative recently raped big small or mutilated genitals or enhanced genitals Or any kind of genitals And dead bodies Or better naked dead bodies And especially rotting naked dead bodies Remember any work you submit in which people look filthy and miserable will be referred to as the ‘real Africa’ and you want that on your dust jacket Do not feel ueasy about this you are trying to help them to get aid from the West The biggest taboo in writing about Africa is to describe or show dead or suffering white peopleAnimals on the other hand must be treated as well rounded complex characters They speak or grunt while tossing their manes proudly and have names ambitions and desires They also have family values see how lions teach their children Elephants are caring and are good feminists or dignified patriarchs So are gorillas Never ever say anything negative about an elephant or a gorilla Elephants may attack people’s property destroy their crops and even kill them Always take the side of the elephant Big cats have public school accents Hyenas are fair game and have vaguely Middle Eastern accents Any short Africans who live in the jungle or desert may be portrayed with good humour unless they are in conflict with an elephant or chimpanzee or gorilla in which case they are pure evilAfter celebrity activists and aid workers conservationists are Africa’s most important people Do not offend them You need them to invite you to their 30000 acre game ranch or ‘conservation area’ and this is the only way you will get to interview the celebrity activist Often a book cover with a heroic looking conservationist on it works magic for sales Anybody white tanned and wearing khaki who once had a pet antelope or a farm is a conservationist one who is preserving Africa’s rich heritage When interviewing him or her do not ask how much funding they have; do not ask how much money they make off their game Never ask how much they pay their employeesReaders will be put off if you don’t mention the light in Africa And sunsets the African sunset is a must It is always big and red There is always a big sky Wide empty spaces and game are critical—Africa is the Land of Wide Empty Spaces When writing about the plight of flora and fauna make sure you mention that Africa is overpopulated When your main character is in a desert or jungle living with indigenous peoples anybody short it is okay to mention that Africa has been severely depopulated by Aids and War use capsYou’ll also need a nightclub called Tropicana where mercenaries evil nouveau riche Africans and prostitutes and guerrillas and expats hang outAlways end your book with Nelson Mandela saying something about rainbows or renaissances Because you care

Binyavanga Wainaina ☆ How to Write about Africa kindle

Clan KC’ undresses the layers of meaning shrouding the identity of the infamous Kenya Cowboy while ‘Power of Love’ bemusedly How to PDF recollects the advent of the celebrities for Africa phenomenon heralded by the mid eighties hit song ‘We Are The Wor This was a fun read A ridiculously fun read Under irony in the dictionary there's a little picture of Binyavanga Wainaina It's a very short tongue in cheek reflection about Africa and the people who write about Africa A few posts down my Instagram feed I went on a long rant about African literature focusing on the same generalizing themes wildlife AIDS coups well this little book talked about the same thing but with lots of dry wit and panache I loved it Wainaina tackles stereotypes about Africa with effortless humor Africa is one large country; African cuisine consists of monkey brain; a country of breathtaking red sunsets but plagued with HIVAIDS war and famine; a land of naked breasts and rotting bodies Wainaina writes that Africa is worth romanticizing but not deeply thinking aboutIt's a very short read can be done in half an hour Compromises of three stories Well the term 'stories' would be inaccurate because it's non fiction So yeah three short essays but packs a punch It forces the reader to ask himherself Do you know Africa or are you still stereotyping it

reader ✓ How to Write about Africa ☆ Binyavanga Wainaina

How to Write about AfricaLd’ It also scrutinizes the international NGO circuit and the transactions between ‘dollar a day people’ and a month United Nations consultants whose started off as ‘ dollar a day’ year old backpackers full of ‘love and compassion’ for the contine Sharp witted and sarcastic look at how Africa is viewed by the rest of the world This collection of essays made me laugh at how wrong Eurocentric views of Africa are A must read for those interested in a satirical look at books written by non Europeans

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